Book Review: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

by Lori Gottlieb

Published: April 2, 2019

Review published: September 13, 2025

What I Learned / My Take

One of the strongest themes in the book is how unpredictable and uncontrollable life can be, no matter how much we plan. Lori describes the pain of a breakup she never saw coming, sharing, “But you have to understand, I was expecting that we would spend the rest of our lives together. This was how things were supposed to go, and now it’s all up in the air. Half my life is over, and I have no idea what’s going to happen. What if Boyfriend was the last person I fall in love with? What if he was the end of the line?” She realizes that her greatest stress is not just the breakup itself, but the shattering of her imagined future. Starting over at forty feels terrifying, and there’s a sense of being lost, of not knowing how to move forward.

Lori learns to accept that some things are simply out of her control. “We might have a sucky day, but we don’t have a sucky life.” She points out that, sometimes, all we can do is understand and accept what happens to us, rather than fight it. Once we see our situation clearly, we can start to solve our problems instead of sinking into depression.

Lori also describes her experience as a busy, working single mother. “My life wasn’t much different, of course, at least during this phase. The faster I finished my work, the sooner I'd get to spend time with my son, and then the quicker we could do the bedtime routine, the quicker I could get to bed so that I could wake up the next day and hurry all over again. And the quicker I moved, the less I saw, because everything became a blur.” This captures the feeling of rushing through life without truly experiencing it.

The book’s patient stories are just as profound. Julie, a young woman recently married and hoping to have a child, is suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer. All her symptoms, which she thought were signs of pregnancy, turn out to be signs of illness. The most heartbreaking part is not just her diagnosis, but her coming to terms with the fact that she will never become a mother, and her life is ending just as it was supposed to be beginning. As her therapist, Lori feels powerless at first—there’s no cure or advice that can change Julie’s fate. Julie struggles with conflicting feelings: she wants her husband Matt to be happy after she's gone, but she also feels jealous at the thought of him moving on. In the end, Julie comes to realize that the best gift we can give those we love is wishing for their happiness, even if it means letting them go. She finds meaning in continuing to work at her job and enjoy her favorite TV shows, not just to pass time, but because she genuinely loves them. “We don’t live forever,” Lori writes. “The people who go to a funeral must experience saying goodbye to the person they love. And there will be a day it’s our turn, but how we live today is what matters.”

John, a successful but deeply unhappy TV producer, hides his depression behind anger and cynicism. He blames himself for the car accident that killed his son, believing he was distracted and at fault. His marriage is falling apart because he and his wife cannot communicate about their grief—his wife believes his work is a way to avoid the family, while John feels misunderstood by everyone. His daughter wants a new phone, his wife complains about his absence, and all the while, John is overwhelmed by guilt and sorrow. A family meeting, prompted by therapy, helps everyone finally talk about their shared loss and begin to heal together.

Rita, at 69 years old, is struggling with depression and the fear that life has passed her by. She sets a private deadline—if nothing changes before her seventieth birthday, she plans to end her life. Rita has survived abusive marriages, blames herself for not protecting her children, and feels estranged from them now that they’re adults. She isolates herself and fears love, believing she is undeserving. Through therapy, Rita gradually learns to accept her imperfections. She reaches out to her neighbor, daring to start a new relationship, and writes letters to her children explaining why she made certain painful choices. Acceptance and self-compassion become her path forward.

Scenes and Images that Stuck with Me:

• Lori’s moment of vulnerability—after a devastating breakup, lying on her bed, uncertain and afraid, but ultimately choosing to reach out for help by finding her own therapist. That act of reaching out is both powerful and universal.
• Julie’s bittersweet journey, from the hope of starting a family to facing her own mortality. Her internal conflict—wishing happiness for her husband while feeling jealous of a future she won’t share—felt honest and deeply human. The image of her still loving her work and small pleasures, even at the end, is moving.
• John’s anger masking his grief, finally breaking down in therapy as he confronts his guilt and opens up to his family about their son’s death. The family’s ability to begin understanding each other after so much pain was a reminder of the importance of communication and forgiveness.
• Rita, a woman in her late sixties, taking a chance on love and reaching out to her children after decades of guilt. Her story shows that it’s never too late to heal and grow.
• Lori reflecting on the blur of everyday life as a single working mother—the cycle of rushing from task to task, losing sight of what’s truly important.

Would I recommend it?
Absolutely. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is for anyone curious about therapy, mental health, or simply the messiness of being human. It’s full of wisdom, humor, and honesty, and it might just help you see your own struggles in a new light.

Memorable Quotes:

• “You guys still like each other, but now you spend more time with people who have similar interests.”
• “We both know freedom involves responsibility, and there’s a part of most of us that finds responsibility frightening.”
• “Follow your envy—it shows you what you want.”
• “You take a risk, you fall down, and you get back up and do it over again.”
• “You sound like my ten-year-old. What makes you think life is supposed to be fair?”
• “What makes night within us may leave stars.” — Victor Hugo
• “You won’t get today back.”
• “You get through your pain by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it.”
• “If you worry too much about the details, you might miss the big picture.”
• “Because if you meet at a funeral you’ll always remember how important love and life are, and to let the small stuff go.”